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A Kosama Story

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Today we are lucky enough to feature a story by Davenport participant, Tabbatha Lancaster. We hope you all enjoy this as much as we did!

August 11, 2007 was the worst day of my life.  I got a knock on my door and standing in front of me were two men dressed in full military uniform.  They proceeded to tell me, “We regret to inform you that your husband SGT Andrew Lancaster, was killed this morning in Iraq.”

All of a sudden, at the age of 23, I was a military widow.  My husband, best friend and soul mate risked his own life for his soldiers and our country.  I am extremely proud of him, but can tell you for the longest time I literally just wished death would come and find me so Andy and I could be reunited.  I no longer saw any purpose for living with him gone. Anyone who knows me could never imagine I would feel this way.  Andy and I were so full of love and life and never wasted any part of the day.

Digging myself, rather… clawing and grasping, for loving life again over the past four years has been the biggest struggle anyone could ever imagine.  It is a continual process. After Andy was killed, I just did not care anymore.  I tried to continue working out, but gave up after a while.  It just did not seem important.  I gained a ton of weight from stress. I stopped eating normally, so my metabolism went crazy. On top of that, my sleeping patterns were a complete disaster. I spent most of my days in a zombie like state, just getting by as best as I could, until I crawl back into bed and escape the day.  Like many, I’ve tried every workout imaginable, but nothing pushed me to keep going.

A few weeks before I found out about Kosama, I had reached my breaking point. I couldn’t imagine waking up feeling like this anymore. I wanted something that pushed me to the limits. I didn’t want to be a part of a gym where everyone stands around and lifts weights in between their chat sessions. The first five minutes into session one I thought, “What did I get myself into?!” But now, I just feel so accomplished and great and can feel such a huge difference from when I started in September. In total, I’ve lost 13.4 lbs and 3.3% body fat. I far exceeded my expectations and continue to do so on a daily basis. I was even a finalist for my session! If my husband can enter a war zone twice and sacrifice his own life, surely I can get to the gym everyday. I’m still working towards my ultimate goal, but I’m headed in the right direction. It’s no longer about being the perfect size. Everyday I walk out of Kosama with a smile on my face, knowing my husband must be so proud.


  1. Amy Brown
    Amy Brown12-09-2011

    My heart goes out to you for losing your soulmate. Know that he was a hero to all. My husband is also in the Army and I’ve worried @ every deployment. I work out also with Kosama, and love it. God Bless you and your family for the sacrifices you all have made. Just know he was a true hero. Take care.

  2. Debra Tillis
    Debra Tillis12-12-2011

    So proud of her strength and accomplishments. She is truely beautiful inside and out.

    She is our daughter.. and we have seen the transformation within her spirit to fight.

    Dean & Debra Tillis

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